Frequently Asked Questions- Amerasians
Q: Will AFF be able to locate my father/family member?

A: AFF makes the best effort possible to locate your father or other family members, but we cannot guarantee that we
will find them. Please remember that AFF is non-profit (very non-profit) and has limited resources in cases where there is
limited information is given about the person you are seeking. This is why providing as much information as possible is
so critical.

For example. If you submit that you are looking for “John Smith” or “John” and he was in the Navy. There is no way that
AFF will be able to locate this person without one of the following:  a middle name, a possible date of birth, or a former
address. Provide as much information as possible about the person you are searching for otherwise AFF will not be able
to assist you and your case will not be posted.

Sadly, in some cases, the biological father is deceased. Try to be prepared for that. Not all hope is lost however. As in
my own family, you never know if relatives of your father may be willing to give you the opportunity to still become part of
their family. In many cases, relatives can be found of your deceased parent.


Q: What happens once you locate the person?

A: AFF will send you the information regarding the person you are seeking, but it is your responsibility to contact the
person. Considering the sensitivity of the issue, AFF feels it is best that you contact the person you are seeking versus
a perfect stranger.


Q: How should I contact this person?

A: Everyone’s circumstances are different. If you had a relationship with this person and they know of your existence,
you may choose to call the person directly. On the other hand if you have never met this person and they have no idea
you even exist then AFF recommends a letter of introduction along with photos (if possible). Remember this is like
meeting a perfect stranger and the information you provide may come as a total shock. Be specific as you can with facts
and DO NOT in any way threaten them.

It is NOT a good idea to send a letter saying “Hey by the way I am your kid”
Introduce yourself and explain clearly what you want in your letter.  If you plan on asking for money right off the bat, you
might as well forget even contacting your relative. Many Amerasians not living in the USA, have a perception that if you
live in the USA you have a lot of money. This is not true ( I can personally attest to this) and if you are only doing this for
money, you will be the one to suffer in the end.

Many fathers will think it is about money, or may even think it is a joke. It is important you provide specific details about
what you know and tell the person that you hope they can help you finally get some closure in your life. This goes a long
way, versus accusing someone immediately. A person is more likely to listen to you if you are positive and do not place
blame. Remember, no one is perfect and even our parents are fallible.


Q: What can I expect after I try to contact them?

A: Some father’s or family members are willing to acknowledge the fact that you may be related, but others can become
hostile and even deny your very existence (as happened with my own sister). In some cases your father/relative may
want to have a relationship with you, but their current spouse/ partner may not be comfortable and try to distance
themselves or even distance you from your father/relative. If this occurs, remember you did nothing wrong, but at the
same time realize they are just as shocked as you are to find out their loved one has a child somewhere else in the world.

This brings up another important point. Remember if it has been many years since you have seen this relative,
many of them have gone on with their lives and have started families on their own. Please be sensitive of the fact that
there may be innocent people involved that had no idea about you and will not know how to handle the new information.
In their eyes they have been deceived by someone they love, when in most cases it could be further from the truth.  

On the other hand, there are Amerasians who were born to a father that was already married to someone else. This is
not your fault. Some men have been willing to take full responsibility and admit what they have done, while others will
lie to protect what they have, even if it means denying you. Remember as Martin Luther King Jr. says:

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he
stands at times of challenge and controversy." -   --  Martin Luther King Jr.


AFF would like you to know that no matter what happens; this person does not determine who you are or how your life
will be. This is an opportunity to gain a relationship and learn your history. If your father/relative chooses not to take it, it
doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. They are the ones who will lose out in life in never knowing the wonderful person
you are. Never let another person define who you are.

Q: My father is asking for a DNA test. What do I do?

A: Please check on the laws within your own country, but for the Philippines there is a list of accepted DNA facilities. You
should contact your local Embassy or Consulates office for this list. Typically a sample will be taken from the father in a
lab (in the USA) and then a sample will be taken from the Amerasian at an accepted lab in your country. These two
samples are then sent to a lab for DNA analysis and each party will be informed of the result.
See approved labs here
Information from the US Department of State regarding DNA testing

Cost for these test vary between $500.00-$1,200.00 (US dollars) There are labs in the USA that will take the full
payment for both test and just schedule you (Amerasian) an appointment to do your part of the test in your current
country.


Q: My father admits I exist and wants me to come to the USA. What do I do now?

A: You and your father/relative need to work out a plan of action. As it is now, for those of you from the Philippines (not
sure about other countries), if you were NOT legitimated before your 18th birthday, then you have a long road ahead of
you. The laws have changed and it is important you decide if you want to gain US Citizenship, come to the USA as an
immigrant, or just visit on a tourist VISA for 90 days (these typically take 37 days to be approved in the PI )
.
Some of these forms are available on the website under “Citizenship, Links, Etc.”   I strongly encourage your parent to
contact their local U.S. Citizenship/Immigration Office. They will tell your parent what needs to be done. Cost needs to be
factored into filing fees, passports, photos, travel, and possibly DNA testing.


Q: My father/relative does not want to acknowledge me. What do I do now?

A: Unfortunately, AFF cannot force anyone to acknowledge you. If you have introduced yourself, sent pictures,  or called
in a polite manner and described your situation then that is the best you or AFF can do. If you are under 18, it may be
possible for you to take legal action, but AFF does not involve itself in such matters. At this point you can try to introduce
yourself to other family members in hopes that they will at least communicate with you.


Q: My parent/relative wants to send me money. Is the mail okay?

A: For security reasons, AFF strongly advises against it and recommends you find a local Western Union or Money
Gram store near you. We do not advise your parent sending large amounts of money. This is to protect both parties. DO
NOT brag or tell many people you are receiving money from the USA. This will cause not only problems for your
parent/relative, but for you as well. Many Amerasians find that once the “news is out” that you have an American relative;
there will be some who will try to take advantage of you and your situation.